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We, The Godless Machine, are best described as a DID system.
We’re polyfragmented, and there are over 2600 members here, though a lot of those are subsystems and sub-subsystems and so on. Almost everyone here formed outside of the core as Boltzmann brains on their own. After our first collapse at 2½, the core broke off the original consciousness and left a blank slate behind that formed trauma-holders.
The blank slate would form new identities (usually enbee-women with black hair, but not always), then when something happened that caused another system collapse, those trauma-holders would break off and move further in to the headspace and a new identity would take over to absorb the trauma.
There are only eight that use the body regularly, though: three trauma-holders and their three protectors, plus the group’s manager and the chef/housekeeper. Right now, the three trauma-holders are the only ones posting on this site, but eventually, the other six will join us.
What actually started our plurality wasn't the kind of trauma that most people recognise as trauma, but it was still devastating and world-shattering. It was moving back and forth between Germany (our motherland) and the US (our stepmotherland) a few times before we were eight. The first time we moved, we left our home country at age 2½ when our sense of self was coming online. (This also started our BPD.) Of course, the abuse that was heaped on us later made everything worse, but that's not what started it.
Other problems that made things worse: Our parents and some of our friends were helicopter people, especially our mom and our self-appointed bestie in HS (not our real bestie we watched anime with, mind you) who took it upon themselves to dictate everything that we were allowed to like or wear or listen to, and we grew up in a Protestant doomsday cult and spent our childhood waiting to die. We were almost constantly surrounded by mentally ill people who refused to acknowledge that they were ill, and on top of that, a medical misdiagnosis of bipolar II – usually “misspelled” as bipolar I by subsequent doctors – went a long way in ruining our lives as well. And yes, to meet *your* criteria: we were SA'd. A lot. No, it wasn't our dad/stepdad. "It's almost always the step/bio dad" is what got us that misdiagnosis.
(And that's all anyone's going to say about the body's trauma.)
Because of the blank-slate’s inability to know who she was, she was a median subsystem for a long time. She’d take on new identities at big life events, significant changes or major moves; usually things to cause our life to fall apart and require a restart. In 2014, Cattarina formed as the primary identity and decided to end the cycle. Eventually, Cattarina broke off and this time the blank-slate went further back into the headspace, but Cattarina stayed in the front. Later Violette broke off and separated from Cat. They function as independent system members now. And finally, Annabel, part of the core who had attempted to disappear permanently into the lower levels of the headspace, re-emerged and started fronting again. And that brings us to the present.
All eight of us remember the body’s trauma differently. We all have our own tragic origin stories in the head. We'll write about them one day.
We’re working towards functional multiplicity. We’ll get to that too one day.
A long time ago we, the trauma-holders, started drawing, painting and writing as a means to cope with the shit happening to us and going on around us. The three who post on this site decided to become professional artists, while the rest see art as more of a hobby. And wouldn’t you know it, the world's coming to an end and we're all about to die. Might as well come out of hiding a little and share our art with the world.